Vandraren
by DuRiechstSoGut98
Summary: Remember when Alistair talks to the Warden about being unsure of staying with her? About having children with another Warden because of the taint inside them? This is why he was so skeptical. Won't be a very long story, so be prepared for disappointment.
1. My Love

"Oh Alistair, stop it! I'm barely even showing!"

Elsie Theirin laughed as her husband Alistair rested his head on her stomach. The healers had predicted, roughly, that she was three or four months along in her pregnancy. No one but the two of them had known, and Alistair only thought of names twice.

"If it was a girl, how would you feel about Gwendolyn?" He asked, eyes shining.

"Gwendolyn Theirin? I like the sound of that. But what if it's a boy?" Elsie asked, trying to ignore to massive weight of Alistair's head on her stomach.

"Hm, right…what about naming him after me?"

"What about naming him Duncan? Or Eamon?"

"Not Eamon, he's still alive so that will confuse matters. As for Duncan—"

Their intimate moment was suddenly interrupted with a hasty knocking on the door. Before Alistair could even lift his head, the servant had already burst through the door, hands on his knees and trying to catch his breath.

"I am truly sorry Your Majesty, but the nobles in the hall, they will not wait any—"

"Oh, the nobles, right." Alistair said with a wince, lifting himself from the bed. He adjusted his clothes and kissed his queen on the top of the head and left the room.

"Emma?" Elsie called out for her servant. "Emma, could you come in here please?"

The small elf poked her head through the door. "Yes My Queen?"

"Could you please fetch some hot water? I think it's time to take a bath." She replied, untying the ribbons that held her hair perfectly in place.

The elf was gone in an instant. If Elsie knew her, she probably had water heating over the fire as they spoke. She went to the dresser and combed her long, beautiful chestnut hair. Alistair used to tease her about spending fifty silvers on Orlesian soaps and perfumes, but once he saw what it had done for her hair, he quickly stopped. Emma dashed in and out of the room, filling the tub and leaving to fetch more water.

"My Queen, your bath is ready and there is a towel behind the door. Is there anything else you need?"

"No Emma, that will be enough. Thank you." She replied and quietly shut the door.

Elsie dipped her toes in the water and noted how scalding hot it was. Perfect, she thought as she slowly dipped herself in. She gently patted her ever-bulging stomach and smiled.

"I really like the name Gwendolyn, do you?" She whispered. When she felt nothing, she began to laugh. "Right, too soon to tell I guess."

She leaned back and watched the steam roll of her skin and started to relax. As a Cousland, she was born into nobility, always used to being coddled and getting the best that Fereldan had to offer, but somehow it just wasn't the life she wanted. She was a warrior, how did she get sucked into this? She rubbed her toes on the pure marble tub and then ran her fingers on the gold rim. The only bit of luxury she ever wanted were Orlesian soaps and perfumes. She dipped her hair into the water, then rubbed the fragrant oils into her hair. She dipped her head below and the water and closed her eyes, waiting for the oils to rinse themselves out.

"_Old Gods…_"

Elsie opened her eyes and rose out of the water like she was drowning. She quickly jumped out and covered herself with a towel, searching the room high and low for intruders.

"Who the hell is there?" She demanded, looking through the window.

The King's personal guards threw the door open, blades ready to protect their Queen from whatever had her fretting.

"My Queen? Is something wrong?" One of them asked.

"Search this room and the next. I heard whispers, someone must be in here or nearby." She panted and darted into the next room to get changed.

"I'm sorry my Queen, but there's no one here. Perhaps you need some sleep—"

"No, I _know_ I heard something. I have to see Alistair…"

Elsie quickly left the room and hurried down the stairs to see her husband as quickly as possible. When she found him, Teagan was whispering something in his ear and Alistair simply sat on the throne, his head resting on his fist. When he saw her and how pale she looked, he quickly jumped up.

"Elsie? What's wrong? Why are you so pale?"

"Please Alistair," she begged. "Meet me upstairs when you're finished."

"If it's that important, I'll go with you now."

Alistair nodded to Teagan to continue hearing plights from the poor and complaints from the nobles. He and Elsie hurried up the stairs and back into their bedroom where Elsie plopped herself on the bed and buried her head in her hands.

"Love, please, what's the matter?" Alistair asked, unsure of how to comfort her.

"I was taking a bath, and I heard a whisper."

"Did the guards check the room?"

"Yes, but let me finish." Elsie said, exasperated. "It wasn't an outside whisper; my head was in the water…it was more like it was in my head. I could have sworn it said Old Gods, but I was so scared I can't remember."

Alistair's eyes grew soft for a moment. "Do you think it's the taint?" He asked softly.

"Oh, Maker forbid!" She hissed. "What would we do?"

Alistair held her close and stroked her hair. "Shh, let's leave it to the healers to figure that out. I'll get Wynne right now."

Alistair left the room and Elsie went to the windowsill and sat down, opening the glass window to view the garden from above. Her lilies were in full bloom now, and the roses were climbing up the side of the castle, also in full bloom. One of the servants was in the vegetable garden, picking tomatoes and carrots, waving to her from the ground. She smiled weakly and waved back and watched him get on with his work.

"Elsie?" She heard a voice call for her.

She turned her head and smiled at the old mage walking into the room, leaning slightly on her staff. Elsie stepped down from the windowsill and watched as the mage's hand turned blue and she waved a bright light over Elsie's stomach.

"The baby seems to be doing fine…what is your concern?" She asked.

"I heard a whisper while I was in the bath. Something whispered Old Gods, but it sounded like it was in my head."

Wynne frowned for a moment. "While I think it is a bad idea for two Wardens to have a child together, you should be alright. I cannot guarantee the life of the baby however—"

"Wait, wait, what are you saying?" Alistair interjected.

"I think you know what I am saying Alistair. No one in recorded history knows of two Wardens having a child together. The result could be a perfectly healthy baby boy or girl, or the result could be…disastrous, to say the least. All I am saying is that you need to prepare yourselves for the worst."

Wynne left the room and Alistair went to the window, leaning heavily against the frame. Elsie moved silently to her lover and wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his back.

"Come on big guy," She whispered. "We defeated an Archdemon together, this is nothing."

"This is my child and the love of my heart and life. Don't tell me it's nothing." He replied bitterly.

She hugged him tighter and stood on her tippy toes to kiss the back of his neck. "Did you ever go back to Ostagar with Zevran, Oghren and Fergus?" She asked, though she knew the answer. "Because I'd like to go there sometime and see where we first met."

Alistair softened his stance slightly, remembering that she begged him to let her go, but he wouldn't let her near darkspawn in her condition.

"Did you want to put a memorial for Duncan and Cailan?" Alistair asked.

"Maybe for Cailan, but I thought you wanted to put a memorial for Duncan in Highever?"

"We could do that as well, if you're comfortable with going back there."

She smiled and stood next to her husband and held his tightly. Alistair kissed her forehead and sat her down on the windowsill and closed his eyes when a warm breeze blew across his face.

"We'll go back as soon as we can, okay?" He said to his wife.

She smiled in return. "Fair enough."


	2. Eye For An Eye

Alistair helped her out of the carriage and down onto the crunchy, quiet snow. The darkspawn were gone, but there was no telling if they would meet stragglers, so she wore her traditional enchanted leather armor, which was beginning to feel tight around the middle.

"I should really get another armor set to be a little…bigger around the middle." She commented as she looked around.

"What? Absolutely not. I intend to keep you _away_ from danger while you're pregnant, not throw you in the middle of it!"

Elsie smiled at her husband's concern, but frowned when she noticed that the damage from the darkspawn was so severe she couldn't recognize the mighty fortress anymore.

"Come on, it's this way." Alistair said, gingerly taking his wife's hand.

He led her west, and she soon found herself in a vast hall, with stairs straight ahead of her. She recognized this as the war meeting, and saw the table had been broken in half by darkspawn. She could still see Cailan's plans frozen into the ice. She continued to walk with Alistair until they reached the top of the stairs where they had first met in what seems like so long ago.

"Do you remember what I said?" Alistair asked.

"You mean to the mage? 'I was going to name one of my children after you…the grumpy one!'" Elsie laughed.

Alistair left her alone for a minute while he searched the surrounding area for more darkspawn, in case they had come back. Elsie managed to climb over a snow bank and into a small clearing with a stone circle in the center. It took her a minute, but this was where she had taken her joining. On the ground near the center, she spotted the Joining chalice. She quickly tucked it into her pack, waiting until she got back to Denerim to give it to Alistair.

"Elsie? Elsie! Where did you go?" She heard him calling.

"I'm right here, calm down!" She laughed as she climbed over the snow bank.

He immediately put his hand on her stomach. "Please don't worry me like that. If anything had happened—"

"Alistair, stop it. I defeated the Archdemon, remember? You think I can't handle a few darkspawn now?"

"Yes, I know you slew an archdemon, but this is different. It's not just, you know, about you anymore."

She frowned, but knew that he was right. They walked together as she tried to remember Ostagar the way she saw it. The darkspawn had spread so much destruction and the snow had covered so much, it was difficult to remember what she was looking at. As they crossed the bridge going toward the Tower of Ishal, Elsie stopped at a crude looking crucifix.

"Why is this here? This seems so…random."

Alistair sighed sadly. "That's actually where we found Cailan's body when we came back. We took him down and set him on a pyre. I only wish we could put Loghain there instead."

Elsie squeezed her eyes shut. This had been a sore subject for her for so long.

"Alistair…"

"Oh come on, don't tell me we're starting this again!" Alistair said bitterly, throwing his hands in the air.

"All I am saying is that I believe it was wrong to execute him—"

Alistair stepped up close enough for her to take a step back.

"He _betrayed_ us and he betrayed Cailan! He sent an assassin after us, spread slander about the Grey Wardens and Maker knows what he let his men do to you when we were locked up in Fort Drakon!"

Elsie shut her eyes, trying to see his side of the argument. True, he had done unforgivable crimes to both them and Cailan, and the kingdom in general, but Elsie was always a pious woman. She believed it was up to the Maker, not men, to judge others. She decided to change the subject before things got too emotional.

"So, did you want to put it here in Ostagar or in Highever?" She asked.

"Put what?" He asked angrily.

"The shrine…you know, for Duncan."

Alistair's shoulders slumped as all his anger melted away. He completely forgot one of the reasons he wanted to come here. He looked back at Elsie, who was nervously cradling her small bump. He immediately went to her and wrapped his arms around her and she inhaled sharply and shoved him away.

"What? What's wrong?" He asked as she doubled over.

"Oh Maker…it hurts!"

She clutched at her stomach and moaned as Alistair panicked and picked her up, running with her back to the carriage. Flemeth's hut wasn't far from here, but she was dead, and what would Morrigan be doing there? The Circle was at least a day or two away, and who knows if she even make it there alive.

"Alistair, wait…I think it stopped." Elsie sighed as Alistair placed her in the carriage on her back.

"I'm not taking any chances. We're going to the Circle and I'm sending word to some Grey Wardens in Orlais and see if anything like this has ever happened. So just lay back and relax, I'll wake you when we get there."

She sighed and placed her arm over her eyes, trying to relax as the carriage rolled on its merry way. She could hear whispers again, although she couldn't make any of them out. Squeezing her eyes shut, she rolled over and held her head. The frenzying whispers were relentless until she got up and crossed over to Alistair, laying her head in his lap.

"Well, if you're going to do that, at least let me take off my greaves." He said, picking her up gently.

His heavy armor fell to the floor with a loud clang, and she made herself comfortable on his lap. His hand stroked her impossibly soft hair, and he even began to braid it a little. As the carriage rolled along, she tried to strike up a conversation to ignore the whispers in her head.

"Whatever happened to our companions?" She asked.

"Well, Zevran is still around from time to time. Leliana? I think she's a seeker for the Chantry now. I have no idea what happened to Sten, Wynne went back to the Circle, Oghren I believe is at Vigil's Keep in Howe's old Arling…"

The very mention of that sneaky bastard's name just made Elsie tune Alistair out. It was only fitting that he died at her hand. Still, anytime someone mentioned his name or what he had done to secure his power, it just made her shake with rage. She could still remember when she had ended his life, and she didn't regret it once.

"Maker spit on you." She remembered him saying. "I…deserved better."

"No!" She screamed and kicked him in the face.

He groaned slightly, and spit out a few teeth. He smiled a bloody, toothy grin.

"When I…killed your mother Eleanor, I-"

She didn't even wait for him to finish and kicked him on his back with the toe of her boot. She lifted her foot as high as she could and brought it down right on Howe's face. She could hear the sickening pop of bone breaking and the squish of his flesh as Elsie stomped again. She stomped and stomped and stomped until all was left was a bloody mess that was once his face. With tears in her eyes, she got down on her knees and started to punch the gory mess, though she knew it would do no good. It wouldn't bring her parents back, and she realized this when Alistair, Leliana and Zevran had to drag her away from Howe's body.

"Maker!" She wailed. "I hope the Maker will grant you life so that I might kill you again!"

Alistair held her for as long as he could as she cried into his chest. Her entire family was gone because his one selfish ambition.

"I…I hope the Maker…" She huffed.

"I know love, I know." Alistair whispered, stroking her head. "He's paid for what he's done. Blood can sometimes only be repaid with blood."


	3. The Calling

"You only said that to make me feel better, didn't you?" She asked, completely catching Alistair off guard.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know, when I killed Howe. You said blood can only be repaid in blood."

"I believe I said it can sometimes only be repaid with blood. What's your point?"

She wasn't sure why she had brought it up. He didn't exactly lie, so she couldn't see why it mattered.

"So you were saying about our companions?" She asked, changing the subject.

"Yes, so…I told you about Leliana, right? How about—"

"What about Morrigan? Has anyone seen her yet?"

"Scouts report that they might have seen her somewhere near the Frostback Mountains, but it was night and there was a terrible storm, so it's hard to say."

She nodded and yawned, wriggling into a more comfortable position, and nodded off to sleep.

She wasn't quite sure if she was dreaming or just daydreaming before she went to sleep, but Elsie stood in the Chantry in Denerim, wearing a beautiful, custom made gown. She held in her hands the most beautiful flowers one could ever hope to find in Fereldan, and standing next to her was the best man she could ever ask to spend her life with.

"I love more than any other being in the entire world Elsie. Will you be my lawfully wedded wife?"

"I will, until the day I die." She replied.

Something didn't sit right with her. This wasn't her wedding, she didn't wear a gown as nice as this. And these flowers weren't so…colorful. She dropped the flowers to the ground and watched as they wilted and died before her eyes. Non-mages don't have control in the Fade during a dream.

"What is going on here?" She screamed as she looked for a mirror.

She gazed into the reflective glass and could not believe what she saw. Her skin was pale as a corpse, and she had dark blotches all over her face. Her eyes were clouded over and she couldn't move.

"We have to go now." Alistair whispered next to her. When she looked at him, he had the same disease she did. "We have to look for the Old Gods."

"No, this isn't…right." She moaned, feeling herself getting weaker.

She felt like she was sinking deeper and deeper into water, unable to come back to the surface no matter how much she flailed. She eventually gave up and felt herself sink until a pair of slender arms grabbed her and yanked her to the surface. She coughed and sputtered and saw Morrigan's face.

"You have to run!" She cried, brandishing her staff at a Genlock.

The Chantry image wavered until it slowly began to dissipate into some location within the Deep Roads. Morrigan was behind her, burning the darkspawn with a fire blast from her staff. Her small feet were carrying her closer to the door with every passing second. She stood in silence, staring at the door, then back at Morrigan.

"You have to go through that door, that's your way out!" She screamed, blasting darkspawn away so she could escape.

Her fingers grazed the door. The world that lay beyond seemed vile and pointless. Her purpose was clear.

"I can't leave, I must stay." She moaned.

Morrigan let out an explosive sigh, unable to believe she was hearing this from her so-called "friend." They had tough times together, and while she didn't exactly approve of her relationship with Alistair, Elsie was always there to listen. She would never tell her this, obviously.

Morrigan forced the door open and gripped her friend by the shoulders.

"You have to leave, and you have to resist the call." She said before she threw her out the door and back into the real world.

Elsie just seemed to lay there on the bed, completely unmoving and barely breathing. The healers of the Circle were working as hard as they could to figure out what went wrong. She laid down to take a nap, then suddenly her body jolted hard, then she cringed as if in pain. When Alistair tried to wake her, she stopped breathing. First Enchanter Irving explained to Alistair that he managed to get her to breathe, but he wouldn't know when or if she would wake up. He pulled up a chair next to her and held her hand.

"She seems…distressed." Alistair pointed out as her eyelids fluttered.

She didn't wake, but let out a soft moan. Her toes twitched ever so slightly and she relaxed again. Alistair removed his gauntlet and held her hand once more. She was cold as ice and white as snow. It wasn't that abnormal, she always complained she would get chills easily and she was always pale. She used to laugh and blame it on the cold climate of Fereldan. Suddenly her eyes opened and she jolted up in the bed, looking at her hands with fright, then she locked her gaze on Alistair.

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly, standing up to comfort her.

"Where's Morrigan?" She asked. "She was right there with me, and…"

"Morrigan? Elsie, she's gone. She's been gone a long time, no one knows where she is."

She paused, letting it sink in. It had seemed so real, she was right there with her.

"Alistair, I think we need to talk about this baby."

Before she could continue, First Enchanter Irving walked into the room to check on her. He waved a glowing hand over her abdomen and gently laid her back down onto the bed.

"The baby seems to be alright, but it's you I'm worried about." Irving sighed, placing his hands behind his back.

"I had a dream. Well, more of a nightmare really. It was my wedding, but it was…strange."

"Strange how?" Alistair asked. "I don't understand."

"I don't either, to be honest. Morrigan was there, and she pushed me away. There were darkspawn everywhere and it seemed almost like my calling."

"You keep mentioning her, I don't understand how—"

"There has to be Grey Wardens that know of this. Can't you think of any?" She pleaded.

"I'll send word to Weisshaupt Fortress and Orlais, but I can't guarantee anything. I've never heard of anything like this. You're a new Warden, your calling shouldn't be heard for at least another twenty to thirty years!"

She laid back on the bed and rested her hands on her stomach, desperate to feel a tiny pulse, but instead feeling the dark taint inside herself.


End file.
